I was a pretty good Snipe sailor this year. I finished in the top ten in a couple of regattas, and out of the top ten the rest of the time. But I was nice to all my competitors! I hope you won’t think that I deserve coal in my stocking, because here’s what I’d really like for Christmas.
Special note: This is in order of priority.
1. A new jib
You and I both know that old sails are slow. I know I will be a better sailor in 2014 if I get a new jib.
Special note: please do not try to fit the new jib into my stocking. Preferably you will bring it rolled, since fold lines are slow, even though it will take up more room in your sleigh. Also it will be hard for you to get it down the chimney without crimping the sailcloth, so maybe you could leave it by the front door instead? Oh, and please don’t stack any of my other presents on top of it!
2. A new centerboard
It turns out these do not float. I know I was breaking the rules not having it tied in, but I promise to behave with a new board. And my crew will be really happy if it’s anodized so it doesn’t need to be sanded every day.
Special note: A padded bag would also be really nice, because the board is hard to move around without dropping. This definitely will not fit down the chimney, but you can put my other presents on top of it.
3. Zhik hiking pads
I know I could hike harder if I had a new set of hiking pads, and all the best sailors are wearing Zhik so I figure they are the best.
Special note: After my big Christmas dinner I will need the next size up to get them over my winter thighs. Please factor this in when buying them. Also, Zhik pads work best under Zhik pants, so please include #4 with this gift. Thanks.
4. Zhik pants
These pants are so comfortable, I know I will be nicer to my crew if I’m wearing them.
Special note: If you are planning to also give me gift #5, I will need the lightweight pants. If I’m forced to stay home all winter, I will need the neoprene ones. I would be happy to provide the exact model numbers if you can’t read my mind.
5. Plane tickets to Winter Circuit
Santa, it’s cold outside! I used to like winter sailing, but that was before I realized that all my Snipe friends are in Florida in March. And flying south is much faster than driving.
Special note: If you purchase the tickets more than 30 days ahead, it will be cheaper. And I don’t need to fly first class unless you want to spoil me.
6. Dolly tires
It would be great to have spare tires in case someone borrows mine. And pins, too.
Special note: If you can’t find tires for my old dolly, a new Dynamic Dolly would be even better. It has lockable hubs so the wheels can’t be taken off.
7. Chauffeur for drive back from Florida
The drive down is really easy, since I’m excited to go sailing and the weather is getting warmer with each passing mile. But a chauffeur to drive me and the boat home would be really nice. That way I could sleep off all the yellowbirds in the back of the van while the miles tick by.
Special note: I would prefer someone who can also hold an intelligent conversation about tuning, tactics, and the strange habits of our fellow Snipe sailors.
Thanks! I know you realize how important all of this is to my future success in the Snipe Class. Oh yes, and Merry Christmas to you and all the elves who make this possible.
(Drawing by Paolo Cardoni)