New ChestTick Compass: Development Update

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY – THIS IS A JOKE

In a unique cooperation negotiated by Martha Parker, owner of Team1Newport, Patagonia and Raymarine have just launched the innovative ChestTick®, a bra-mounted compass perfect for a male skipper and female crew. 

Designed especially for double-handed boats like the Snipe, Martha says the new product will put tactical information right where skippers are already looking. “The ChestTick Micro is low profile and can be worn by anyone,” Martha said in a recent interview. “The Macro will be available only in C-D cup sizes.”

…

In addition to placing tactical information right at your—ahem—fingertips, a chest-mounted compass also relocates weight right where you want it—out on the rail. ChestTicks may eventually be outlawed, just as water weight was back in the late 1900s, but until the next RRS update in 2020, the ChestTick will be a straight line speed advantage as well as a tactical one.

Although crews themselves will not be able to read the ChestTick, they will know whether the boat is headed or lifted from their skipper’s expression. (A scowl means the numbers are too small.) And since there’s no limit on the number of compasses each team can carry, skippers (or crews) may choose to supplement the chest-mount with a regular boat-mounted compass.

When asked to confirm that future models will also indicate chest size, Martha replied, “If there’s enough demand, I’m sure it will be developed.” (That, of course, would also make the device illegal on the Snipe.) For more information or to test out this innovative product at your next regatta, contact Martha Parker’s executive secretary.